“I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart.”
—-Van Gogh, letter to Theo
I met my artist friend Kristen at an art residency in Italy in 2017. We have remained friends and pen pals ever since. Many of Kristen’s letters are filled with warm encouragement and wisdom for the artist’s journey, and I turn to them whenever I feel lost. I thought that others might also benefit from reading some of these letters, and so I had intended to publish a couple in early 2020. But the pandemic happened, and I forgot all about it. But now, as I re-read Kristen’s words this morning, I find that they still hold much value, and so I will share it with you. Enjoy!
Kristen and me at a cafe in Florence, July 2017
December 2019
Dearest Lauren,
Letter from Vincent Van Gogh to his brother Theo, about what it means to be an artist:
“I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart.”
This is my hope for your work this new year, in writing and in painting—that is pulled forth from you with the force of being in it with your whole heart—Embodied Art— an extension of your Being (Painting as Person) from that Tom Hess quote in her book (I’ll try to find it in a second…) but I am sitting down so peacefully right now!
Your painting and writing cannot but BE YOU! So be the most enlivened, beautiful you you can be! Enjoy this turn of decade 2020! “The Gift” by Lewis Hyde. It is so very beautiful.
“What is good is given back…” The gift (art), it goes around in a circle. It comes to you and then you pass it on. In the spirit of gift giving, enjoy a gift from my bounty…Use this as a cushion to say “no” to commissions and do your heart work!
…Lean into your heart work, find your voice. Paint with freedom from it needing to garner you cash or be anything but your own free voice! Gift to the world the work of your heart, and the world will give many gifts back. I feel so wealthy, sure with money (which matters) but with a warmth of loving, so dearly, the act of painting, loving so dearly the chance to teach such eager and willing students, feeling like I’ve never ‘worked’ a day in my life— because all of it is so nourishing to me. Read this. Use this to confidently labor after your gift. Merry Christmas dear friend!
Love, Kristen
The book that Kristen sent me…
January 2020… [To Lauren]
To have a pen pal— you! I like it very much. I don’t know when I will actually get to send this letter as I am in Hilton Head, SC at the beach. My parents have a condo here that they come to all the time now that they are retired. It’s beautiful and on the ocean!…
It is hard to have ties and be “a serious” painter. I have been thinking about Grace Hartigan a lot and her “seriousness” and quick rise to fame (no… I haven’t finished the book yet [Ninth Street Women]…) It is crazy though, for all my delving into painting and knowing of a lot of painters, I really didn’t know her work until this book. I really had never heard of her, one generation passes and fame and legacy change, quickly. So fame cannot be the goal. It is fleeting, even if you score it. But, I don’t believe it was [the goal] for her. It was the pursuit of the work, which consumed her.
So, I don’t want to be consumed to the point of never choosing to have children or giving up A CHILD. (How could you?) Or losing a marriage. But I do want to be a painter, a serious and devoted painter…
I am hoping for some discipline this week to actually paint and to sneak away to read…Thank you for my letter. I loved it and plan to read it again with fresh eyes in the morning. A perspective change, from berating myself for what I didn’t to, to being generous and thankful for what I did, and simply taking in life as it comes and not sweating the small stuff.
Life creates and feeds art! The fullest us creates the fullest work. So be full! Full of family! Full of cookies! Full of walks! Full of confidence! Full of seizing the time we can in the midst of a busy life!
Love you!
Love, KP
Kristen and me, trying to set up a tent on a chilly October evening in 2019, at an art opening in Newtown, Pennsylvania.
Further reading: “Interview with Kristen Peyton”